The Illusion of Privilege: Burden of Dreams

There are many things you want to achieve. While you understand that there are some things you should never put a benchmark on, age demands some things from us, and life demands hers too.

Here you are, scared to give up on your dreams. You don’t want to settle for a job; you don’t want to pay bills and die. You don’t want to get trapped in the rat race. But who are you to dictate your fate? 

When you hear the word “potential,” you cringe because it has been repeated so much to you that it’s lost taste in your mouth. It sounds distant and painful to your ear. It comes with a heavy weight to succeed; you remember that it’s all or nothing for you. It feeds your fear, your fear of lack, and not living up to expectations. Who gave you those expectations, you or the society? Who gave you the supposed privilege, you or the society? Are we a creation of our own illusions, our own social construct, or we are doomed to always crave a sense of purpose.

People set goals, and your goals have a higher chance of being the same as the next person’s. The only identity you have is what motivates you.

Maybe you are part of a social class some people look at as privileged, but what is a privileged life when you know what you want and how to get it but can’t have it due to things you have no control over. That doesn’t hurt as much as watching people who have it, know nothing about what they wield, and don’t even try to learn how to wield it. It fell in their lap by birthright or knowing the right people. And you, the one with high understanding have to swallow your pride and dent your self-respect just to get a glimpse at what you wish you could have.

Such is the situation of people who have bits of privileges, enough to know they are not what the outside world sees them as. Cursed are the intelligent with nothing to show for it. Blessed are the fools who need not prove what they are. The burden of talent, knowledge, and intelligence is unhappiness.

You know what you could be doing, you know what you could achieve but have nothing to show for it.

We’ve been told privilege blinds. So are you privileged or too blind to see it? Or maybe you’re just living under the illusion of being privileged.

Privileged or not, we are what we are. Destiny might have nothing to do with it. Fate might be a decider.

Either way, you keep climbing those walls. Maybe one day, you’ll join the one percent who had it all rough and came out smooth, or … maybe not.

You see all the tired faces on the street, adults with burnt-out dreams. Some gave up, and others got given up on. But, hey... you’ll be fine.

Maybe not.

Jawondo Jr.

The "SAD CLOWN" Theory

The "Sad Clown" Theory

Hi there,

Thank you for choosing to read this.

Thank you for not giving up on my inconsistent ass. Really, thank you.

Here we go;

Look around you, what do you see? Happy faces? Tired faces? Sad faces?

At your work place, school, amongst friends, what do you see? Depressed faces?

You've seen beautiful faces, happy faces, angry faces, sad faces and all sort of faces.

But, are they faces or masks?

And when the people wearing these faces communicate with their surroundings. Is that their real self or they are putting on a good show?

The truth?

The truth is we all wear masks. 

Where we differ is how well we wear them and how much of a good show we put in for the world to see. Which brings the question. Have you ever seen a Sad Clown?

You see a Clown, you expect a Clown Make up/Mask, Fixated smile and Jolly movements. But, beneath the make up is who the world might never know.

But, when we are unhappy and supposedly "chin up" "Shake the feeling off" and get on with the day. We've successfully put on our Clown Mask. We have not dealt with our unhappiness but hey, the show must go on.

Then, we start the show we have to smile, laugh and interact even when we don't feel like it. And if you suck at it, the mask slips off. We can't be happy all the time. I've explained that in my previous post(Click here for the post)

When the mask slips off. The monster beneath is shown, it comes through transfer of aggression, self pity parties  negative self evaluation, anger, and of course total vulnerability etc.

You see, beneath the mask is our Alter Ego. It is our inner personality with the rawest unfiltered passions and emotions. It is the closest thing to our usual personality. And as such when the mask slips off, the demons we've been keeping at bay with rubber chains breaks off. Though we often regret our actions and tuck them back in. The demon behind the mask patiently waits to be triggered again.

As clown don their mask and put on a show. So do we put on our various faces to hide our emotions in plain sight. We hope no one notices. And that the ones who notices are too bothered by theirs to care.

The "Sad Clown" toast

So, here's 

To taking life hits 

To broken dreams and the innate ability to keep dreaming

To the demons we're still fighting and the ones we've lost to.

To our resilience and to more resilience.....

But we forgot, there are people who will see through your mask and will genuinely care. We might need "help" and as much as the the word "help" resonates with "pity party" to a Sad Clown. It might just be what we need. 

Should we continue to hold on to what comforts or soothes us. A thing, place, person etc.

As I part with you with the golden words of the 21st Century philosopher "Bellarus Shmurdanius" in his magnum opus "Rush" where he said "Life is short, so ginger yourself. Rich, Poor, las las everybody die"

Here's my question? Can we do without the mask? Is the mask what keeps us sane or what projects an illusion of sanity?