Dear Money,
I miss you. Okay, I really miss you. Dreams about you have been really surreal. Sometimes I don’t feel like waking up if you are not in my hands.
Sometimes, I ask myself “Am I money crazed?”, everything I do seems to revolve around you or is it fear that drives me to you? Maybe I don’t want to be a mediocre or I’m too scared of the future. A future without you will be terrible.
You see, I’m a bit of a hypocrite. I know happiness is temporary , I know you can’t buy everything, still I chose you, sometimes I buy happiness with you even though I know its temporary. I can’t blame people who do the craziest thing for you, heck I myself do it too. For people who do demeaning things to have you, they were probably like every normal being thinking they will never do shitty things or go extra length for you.
You are loved, I know you know that. You are harmless yet you are harmful. You might be the only thing that is very toxic but not feared. No one fears you as much as they fear your distant cousin Poverty. It’s amazing how much we fear him yet he serves as a motivation. I am not rich neither do I want to be poor. Saying I’m broke is sugarcoating not having enough, but then self deceit is a game we play to trick the mind into a sense of calm.
I love you. I really do just like the billions of people on earth and we may never mean any word or sentence than that. Yet, you choose who you want to be with. I want you, no I need you. Sometimes, I wonder what will be next for me if I finally get you. I don’t pint my happiness on you, even though I consider you as one of my source of happiness.
You come in different shapes, sizes and different value. It is like a neatly arranged bottles of poison and we are to choose one poison. Some of us chase you till death. Some catch up with you only to die early. Some you have befriended from birth only for them to lose you, Some you stay with but never satisfy them, they will always want more of you.
Like I said you are a poison, a choice we have to make in which choosing wisely is not in the options. What’s amusing is we know this, still we don’t care or should I say we do. We just don’t see the bigger picture we rather prefer to stick to “if I get the money, everything will fall into place”.
Even i believe everything will fall into place if have you. What do I know, I just miss you.
Yours expecting,
Jawondo Jr.
